Dirty Laundry;

I kind of don't like to put all my personal, marital, shit out there.. if you hadn't noticed. Sex, some spanking content, and other mild things.. and MY personal struggles and thoughts.. but as far as venting to the world about how pissed I am at Scott.. well, that just is something I try to avoid. He is my HOH, and he's doing a great job at it.. however, I can't help but feel like I am married to a child.

Just to be fair, I'm pretty much a child. I'm not even 20 yet (although I will be in 7 days). He's going to be 30 in the beginning of February. I constantly feel like I am the one pushing this boat.

It's okay most of the time, but when he starts shooting remarks with an accusatory tone, it kind of gets to me. I brush it off. Then I try talking. Then I try ranting in an angry, but not quite yelling, tone. Then.. well, that's where I am now.

I was watching a movie with my step brother. It's sort of become a semi ritual at this point. I put the baby to bed, my mom and his dad go to bed, and we are both awake. What? Am I supposed to sit there and watch him play his X-Box?

Neither of us care TOO much for T.V. with commercials...

So..? We watch a movie.

I told Scott we were going to watch a movie. Now, I can be on his side with the fact that I told him I was going to watch said movie a short while after 9 o'clock, but didn't really start it until about 9:40. I had a perfectly good explanation:

I have a baby! And he decided that it was NOT bedtime yet... so, we waited!

THEN we watched the movie. Scott called around 10 and I told him I'd call him when the movie was over. He gave me a ton of shit about it, but whatever..

I called him at about 11:20 and he started flipping his lid about four hour movies and yadda yadda ya.

I sat there and listened. I tried to explain. But he just kept talking to me as if I was cheating on him with my STEP-BROTHER.

No. No. No. No. No. NO!

Girls, what do you DO when your 'HOH' acts this way? I've tried reasoning with him.. I've tried talking to him. I do understand why he acts this way.. he is far away. BUT... I've NEVER given him reason to believe I was cheating on him. I've NEVER given him a reason (in this manner, at least) to not trust me!

So... what do I do?!

I CANNOT TAKE IT.

I love him to DEATH. But he is really getting on my last nerve. HOH or not, I am ONLY human.

And I can ONLY take so much.

So.. what did I do?

I hung up on him. I have had enough trying to talk, reason, yell, and make my point. All he ever says is 'sorry I'm such a piece of shit husband, I'll do better.. I promise.'

I NEVER say he is a piece of shit. I NEVER down talk him. I am ALWAYS respectful, even when my tone is a bit snooty. I NEVER say rude things to him or even INSINUATE that he is a bad husband.. so where he comes up with this shit? I have no clue.

I don't know what to do.

So.. I hung up on him. He has been calling me every minute for the past -almost- hour. He's left me ten voice mails. The last one I listened to he was crying.

So.. what do I do?

I'm going to hold my ground. I have to be strong. He is not going to go away for a whole year and freak out about me cheating on him. If he is going to act this way over NOTHING, then I almost have half a mind to give him something to worry about!

I'm just sick of it.

What do you do, have you done, or would you do in a similar situation to this?