Choke me, spank me, pull my hair.

It happened again.

I tried. I tried so hard.

I'm so conflicted and confused on the inside. I feel like it's taking everything in me to stay sane and keep my head up. I'm trying to just hold it inside and figure it out in my spare time.

Sex feels good, but not that good.

I randomly sat on Scott's lap numerous times today and tongue fucked his face, leaving him with a raging boner. I felt myself become hornier and hornier. I was tempted to go fuck myself while he went to the store, but I decided I should share it with him.

He came home and I told him I was going to bed. I started playing with my pussy and sent him a text message from the room that said 'Why don't you come fuck me goodnight real quick? I'm playing with my pussy...'

Five seconds later there he was, on top of me, rubbing me, kissing me. His dick found itself inside me in no time, and it was great. It was really hard for me to cum, which is weird when I'm using a vibrator.. especially when his dick is in me at the same time.

I finally did, and it was lame. It was nothing. It was like a fraction of a sneeze after spending days with that feeling in the back of your nose.

He rolled me over into doggy style and started playing with my asshole. That was great. He told me to keep playing with my clit while he fucked me.

He put a butt plug in my ass and it was just... amazing. I loved it.

I started getting ridiculously hot (heat hot) and playing with myself became more annoying than pleasureable. Scott kept trying to talk dirty and it was irritating me. Everything was just... going down hill.

It started with me saying 'shhhhh' and him NOT getting it. I eventually yelled out 'SHUT THE FUCK UP!' I turned the vibrator off and chucked it. I asked him to open the window, and he did. I asked him to move the blanket that was in my way and all over me and making me sweat, and he did that too.

I tried to get back in the mood and play with my clit with just my finger. It didn't work. I stopped and kept moaning and groaning. Then he went deep, hard, and it hurt. It shot a pain up my spine like it always does. I tried to contain myself.

I was between tears and moans, and it wasn't a good thing. I was just wishing it would end soon.

He finally came, and I waited for him to finish his whole after sex ritiual where he pumps his limp dick lightly in and out of my pussy as the last little bit of nut shoots out, but he was taking forever.

I had to pee, and I openly admitted it. He rolled off of me and I went into the bathroom... and cried.

I don't know what to do. I am literally reaching out.

Will therapy help?

What is wrong with me, and how do I fix it?

Someone PLEASE give me a fucking idea.



1 comment:

  1. It is sooo hard Naomi. I loved sex when I was 20'ish and then went many years without wanting/needing it. Once I turned 40 - BAM...and when I started playing last year - things I never loved doing I suddenly did. I still crave sex...but now with my decision not to have casual sex - I am stuck. Stuck. You didn't have him for so long...now he has changed some an there are lots of different paths down the road. You started really young..and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. You just need to figure out what's best for you and not end up 25 years later like me resentful and angry. Hang in there doll ♥