5.20.2009

I had a lot of bad dreams last night. It's pretty often that this happens, but over the past few nights they have been really seldom.. so I guess I was holding out hope.

But last night I was awoken quite a few times from having yet another nightmare. The main one that stirred me a lot was a dream that I was killing a man. I slit his throat and drained the blood from him before I dumped the body. I've seen this man a lot in my dreams, but never before in person. I've killed him in a lot of different places, but always the same way. I slit his throat, and then drain his blood so that the person that finds him doesn't have to find SUCH a gory mess.

A considerate killer? I couldn't imagine actually doing it in real life, and I don't understand why in my dreams I slit throats like it's nothing. The dreams are not fake like most dreams. Over time mine have become more and more matching to reality. This one was no exception.

His blood was thick and warm, like in real life. A lot of it spilled. His veins popped and he gurgled a lot as he lay there and die. The whole dream was so specific and every movement I made was so clever, and well thought out.

It was as if I'd gotten away with murder before. I knew exactly what I was doing.

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