We're having problems. I guess that's normal this close to a deployment, but I guess I'm just sick of putting up with stuff.

I know he is sick of things I do (or don't do), but we have established that our communication should be open and flowing and there are things he can do to REALLY let me know that he isn't liking something, if that's the case.

Today I yelled at him. I've been REALLY good about my temper and it made me mad that I had to get to that point. I wasn't even super mad, I was just fed up and he WAS NOT listening. Now everything is all sad and tense and it's just stupid.

I wish he would just talk to me about things that make him unhappy. I almost want to go on a completely DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING streak, just to get him to freakin' talk. We have one baby, and another on the way.. we're married, we live together.. and the man STILL has trouble talking to me about things.

I have trouble talking about stuff, too. But I try. I know it's probably not AS easy for him, but I'm just having trouble with it.

Everyday he comes home and wants to rush off and go fishing. That's fine... once in a while. But it's really an everyday thing, and it makes me so sad. I spent ALL day yesterday telling him how much I was missing him. I sent him loving text messages, made him a delicious lunch and dinner.. and the first thing he says when he comes home is 'Okay, i'm going fishing now!'

Which means.. he's going fishing (which yesterday he got home at 3:30 ish.), and he's not coming back until 8:30 or 9:00. I told him that I missed him! I said "how are you going to rush off to go fishing when I've been telling you all day how much I miss you?!"

And he wonders why I never want to pain myself and give him a blowjob.

AND on top of it all, he calls me a stupid fucking bitch whenever I get upset.

Yeah, I have a WONDERFUL HOH.

God, I am so pissed at life.