I got to thinking..

They left... and I started thinking.

What exactly made me so mad? What bothered me to that extent, to send me to that point?

Why did I act that way?

The only thing I have to go on right now is.. selfishness. I had semi-plans in my head that didn't even get to become possible plans because they were stomped on all for a surprise for me.

Of course they did it out of kindness. Of course they were trying to please me.

WHY would it be any other reason?

What would make me react like that?


Things didn't go the way I wanted, so I froze. I froze for an instant... but not to think. I froze to get mad.

I turned into that wife. The one that finds any and every reason to nag her husband.

The wife that finds the first little flaw in the moment of passion, just to say "It's ruined. I'm over it. Goodnight."
She then rolls over, pulling most of the blanket her way, and leaves her husband lying there with a raging boner.

I'm starting to become that wife.

I'm trying to sabotage my marriage for no apparent reason.

I find every little thing to stir up some kind of drama.

I could blame it on my age, and you know.. it's a damn good excuse.

But that's not the case.

No.. our relationship lacts lacked conflict. We rarely have fights, and when we do they are just too ridiculous to truly hold on to.

Conflict represents passion. Without conflict there is no passion.

If a couple never fights... then what do they have? They never move forward.

Conflict is essential to relationships. It is natural for two humans, who spend long periods of time together, to have conflict.

That's how we get to know each other.

The passion in someone, and the way they express it, tells you everything you need to know to make it work.

And without conflict, you can never truly know someone.

Our relationship lacked conflict...

And then he spanked me. He spanked me the other night, and it brought back something wonderful... Everything just felt... new.

But it slowly started fading.

Then he spanked me tonight... and I fell in love with him all over again.

Our relationship lacked conflict... until he spanked me.


  1. Dear Naomi,


    "Conflict represents passion. Without conflict there is no passion.

    If a couple never fights... then what do they have? They never move forward."

    ...is one of this single most ridiculous things I've ever heard. Passion is not about conflict, for God's sake. Conflict can be passionate, yes, and there will be some conflict in every relationship, no matter how good, but to try to drum up conflict in order to bring passion back into a relationship is just very destructive.

    You definitely need a good, thorough spanking from someone who knows what they are doing, and who will tell you to buck up! But not to bring conflict into the relationship...to RID the relationship of conflict.

    You talk about spanking as if it were a drug. You take a hit (no pun intended) and you feel better but then it fades. So you need another one. More often, more of it. If you aren't careful, you'll either lose the ability to function in your relationship without the spanking, or your husband will get tired of being your junky and move on. (And this is coming from someone for whom spanking is an integral part of her relationship!)

    Yes, you're young, yes, that explains a lot, but you are also a wife and mother and it is time you accepted those roles and those responsabilities.


  2. Okay, you can turn and see what Contance said in another light, truly as if she wanted to help you. Or she can see in you what I see... I, too, was finding fault in everything my husband did or did not do. And to have an excuse to do as you said, pull the blankets up, leave my hubby in the cold, and worse: I was MAD that he even had an erection! Yes, I was ANGRY. I became that wife, too. We played that game for a while. Regardless of how we got there, the ONLY thing that fixed it, and I guarantee we were an inch away from over - we had TWO homes and were each in one, was for me to become obedient. Now you talk of spankings, but for the sake of argument, let's say my obedience and your spanking is the same thing. I need and crave it now. If my husband does not demand my obedience, I start lashing out! As if I like it. I CRAVE it. It's the weirdest thing. All I can say is that I do not know why, but perhaps it's the same craving that made us fall in lust with our husbands in the first place? That je nais se quoi that makes us want more and more and more until the day we do not. Why does my obedience or your spankings have to be different than the lust that initially attracted us to our spouses? Can't we be addicted and in need? So what? If this doesn't make any sense, I am sorry, nothing I write seems to, LOL, but in my head it does. My husband will be reading my comment here and will either laugh at me, be excited that I admit what I am admitting, or you'll see a new picture of my kneeling. Wish me luck and I am praying for you. You are a good girl and you are doing whatever you can to feel good about yourself (hence your marriage). Here's the best advice I was ever given by an extremely Christian wife: anything goes in your marital bed.