We had a revolution.

Is that the proper word?

Probably not.

As the candle was flying through the air I realized it was a horrible idea. I also realized it was going to smack against the wall and break, causing glass to fall everywhere. I also realized I was most likely going to be in trouble for it. Big trouble.

The rest of the day I let that little piece of nothing that made me angry in the first place sit with me. I secluded myself to the spare room, falling asleep on the lopsided futon, and letting the millions of crazy, hormonal thoughts I had fly through my mind.

By the end of the longest day ever, I had tears. I wondered what I was doing there, and why I was hiding. I wondered what had made me so mad in the first place and, especially, what had kept me so mad.

Fear. It's what I decided. I knew I was going to be in trouble, so I subconsciously made it all out to be his fault. (whatever IT was). He gave me my space. ALL day. I sat there. I sulked. I cried. I slept. I touched myself. I thought.

Mostly I thought.

By the end of the day I realized I'd made the mess even bigger than it was and that I had to start going through the motions of cleaning it up. I sent him a text.

I know. I'm a chicken.

But I did. I sent him a text saying I had no idea what was wrong with me, and that I was sorry, and that I took full responsibility.

After a few texts I realized I had hardly eaten at all. I told him, and he told me to come downstairs to eat something. He also told me to bring the paddle... and the strap.

He has never lectured me so... harshly. He's never used that tone with me. I've never cried in the corner, before the spanking even started.

I cried the whole time. I even cried afterwards. He just held me and lovingly rubbed my back. I apologized and he told me not to talk, just to cry. I did.

He informed me that the house is horrible and I've been majorly lacking on my housewife job.

I agree.

He also informed me that he'll be spanking me every night until he feels that I can maintain motivation without a spanking every.. single.. day.

He's kept his promise, and intends to keep it longer.


No comments:

Post a Comment