Life is good.

I have gas.

Baby moves TOO much.

I got tied up today, and he put the THANG on me. It was AMAZING.

My house is sort of clean.

The puppy still stinks.

And overall, I'm pretty happy.

Hope all is well out there.

Grrr. I can't stand people who go out of their way to be mean.

I guess I've done it before, but this girl had NO reason. Maybe she doesn't realize that I don't want Walter at her house becase practically every square inch of her home is covered in dog urine and feces?

I don't know.

All I know is.. I really wanted to go to the memorial tomorrow, and she knew that.. which is why she went OUT OF HER WAY to be a bitch. :(

That's okay.. life isn't going to be fun for her once her husband gets home. I just need to grin, and bear it.

More sad faces.

Ugh why is it SO hard for me to just get up and clean. I HATE cleaning.

I need an effing house keeper.

It's my life long dream to get one.

I guess that's what kids are for?

Lol lol.

I joke.

One day there will be a spider in my pants.

That will be the day that I die.

We had a revolution.

Is that the proper word?

Probably not.

As the candle was flying through the air I realized it was a horrible idea. I also realized it was going to smack against the wall and break, causing glass to fall everywhere. I also realized I was most likely going to be in trouble for it. Big trouble.

The rest of the day I let that little piece of nothing that made me angry in the first place sit with me. I secluded myself to the spare room, falling asleep on the lopsided futon, and letting the millions of crazy, hormonal thoughts I had fly through my mind.

By the end of the longest day ever, I had tears. I wondered what I was doing there, and why I was hiding. I wondered what had made me so mad in the first place and, especially, what had kept me so mad.

Fear. It's what I decided. I knew I was going to be in trouble, so I subconsciously made it all out to be his fault. (whatever IT was). He gave me my space. ALL day. I sat there. I sulked. I cried. I slept. I touched myself. I thought.

Mostly I thought.

By the end of the day I realized I'd made the mess even bigger than it was and that I had to start going through the motions of cleaning it up. I sent him a text.

I know. I'm a chicken.

But I did. I sent him a text saying I had no idea what was wrong with me, and that I was sorry, and that I took full responsibility.

After a few texts I realized I had hardly eaten at all. I told him, and he told me to come downstairs to eat something. He also told me to bring the paddle... and the strap.

He has never lectured me so... harshly. He's never used that tone with me. I've never cried in the corner, before the spanking even started.

I cried the whole time. I even cried afterwards. He just held me and lovingly rubbed my back. I apologized and he told me not to talk, just to cry. I did.

He informed me that the house is horrible and I've been majorly lacking on my housewife job.

I agree.

He also informed me that he'll be spanking me every night until he feels that I can maintain motivation without a spanking every.. single.. day.

He's kept his promise, and intends to keep it longer.

*gulp*

My friend is out of the hospital... meaning, I won't have much access to the Internet anymore.

So.. until next time, I hope everyone remains well and happy, and for those of you who are not.. I hope that wellness and happiness finds you soon!

<3

The other day Scott had an appointment with his nutritionist, and I guess his nutritionist had asked a friend of his, from physical therapy, to look at Scott's file (with Scott's permission, of course.). The lady said it looked like there was a bone fragment lodged in his shoulder, and that if that's something they've missed.. it could do some serious, permanent, damage to him. She said look out for spasms, and increased lack of mobility, and some other things that Scott has already been going through.

He wasn't sure what to do. He didn't want to get anyone in trouble, including himself, so I guess he was just going to mostly keep quiet about the findings. I took the liberty of calling Patient Advocate, which I guess is a place here on post that will basically tell you your rights as a soldier in the health care system. I shared with them the situation, they looked over Scott's stuff, and told me to have him go see his ORIGINAL doctor.

I told him, and he did so, and the doctor re-looked at his x-rays and said it, in fact, DOES look like a bone fragment.. and they FINALLY gave him an MRI yesterday. We won't know the exact results or anything, but if it really IS a bone fragment.. that means surgery :(

BUT, that means no deployment, and he'll FINALLY get better! :) He'll get to be here for the birth of our little girl, and Walter's 2nd birthday.

I'm really happy and excited for the future. There are a lot of things that I could be sad, or upset about.. and sometimes I do allow myself a little time to sulk, but for the most part I'm trying to keep my head up and look forward, instead of looking down.

There has been spanking here. There was actually some last night. He's gotten pretty 'holy crap' at it, and it makes me happy, and nervous, haha. But as of now there is nothing major in that department to really report on.

Walter says all kinds of new words, and does all kinds of new things. He's getting so big, and smart, and everyday is a new adventure. I love motherhood, and all of the trials and tribulations that come along with it.

Life is pretty good. It's not perfect, but it's not horrible either.

I hope everyone else is having a wonderful ending of their summer, and I hope labor day weekend is safe for everyone also.

:)

One of my friend's here let me borrow her lap top, so here I am.. blogging!

I have really nothing to say. My mom came down, with her husband, and I held my ground and didn't allow him in my home. Why should I? The last words the man said to me were hateful, and mean, and really hurt my feelings. It's not as much WHAT he said, it's just the fact that he said them and the nature that he said them in. I feel like I gave him my heart, and he just threw it on the ground.

I'm no longer a child and I no longer have to deal with that kind of hurt from my mom's love interests. She's decided to marry him, stay with him, and hope that he changes.. that's on her, and good FOR her.. but I personally don't have to live with him everyday, and I have no reason to ever have to see him.

Anywayss...

Walter had a Dr. appointment and the doctor said he was looking good, and I was doing everything I was supposed to do. That felt good because I was actually worried about being accused of abusing him, because he bruises so easily and SO much. I mean his legs are COVERED in bruises, and I have NO idea where they come from. The idea that a hospital or a doctor can basically take your child away and question whether or not you deserve them back really bothers me, and makes me super paranoid. I love my son and would NEVER want to be put in that situation, but he's a toddler.. and he's a boy, he falls down and gets bumps and bruises. I guess doctors understand that, though. Thank God.

I think Scott is actually home from hunting. I'll post more later.

:)